i fade

-yearning to fade and become
that which is not; the silent wind
discerned at waking
in pain and screaming without a voice
in the obscure dusk
when the darkness disappears
under the weight of light
yearning for each nail and cell
of my being, to collapse
to its becoming ash
and of the ash, to make prints
the kind that disappear
at the breath of the wind without sound
yearning to breath in cold
and fill my cavity
congeal the pulses
and the throbbing
of my heart