-I keep thinking about the Pallbearer. Not so much the movie, there really wasn’t enough flesh to the characters, but rather the idea of passing and not being remembered. I was at the beach this morning, the sunlight dancing on the green blue. There are people talking and it’s just like in the movies. I’m not sure what the impetus was to go, but I attended an AA meeting. Across the circle from where I sat, with her hood over her head and only moments caught in slumber’s grasp, was a girl who I remembered from my solo performance class. She was good. I always enjoyed her monologues, so much energy and I guess the element of cutesy. When the meeting finished with the serenity prayer, I walked over to her side of the circle. I knelt down to match her eye line and she looked at me with that look of recollection but at a loss for who I was. This is twice now in the same weekend. She introduces herself and we fill a couple of moments with almost small talk, re-acquaintance talk and the air goes silent, so I make my departure. Past lives in this present one.
I used to want to accomplish some great feat in life. I wanted the public eye. At fourteen I wanted to win the Nobel literary prize. Now, I just want to make films. I want to be happy in my work and work in what makes me happy. I think annonymity isn’t so bad. But I don’t want to be forgotten.
- 65
- 0