-I find myself staring at the abyss at the precipice of change. I’ve decided not to accept last on the rung. I feel it may be arrogance, but then again what am I to expect from a masters degree from a school with no reputation except for admitting anyone with a pulse. It’s not to say that people who graduate from there are any less, I just don’t feel at home there and become overly critical not to mention miserable. I sit there and feel it’s like being back in high school. I’ve been to community colleges with better screening rooms. So I leave, without ever really being there.
I weigh my options, like a man with few left. I think about different countries, perhaps different possibilities. I think about Korea and teach for a year. I wonder whether that is my opportunity. Whether perspective is what I need.
I feel like a child, needing so much to grow. That is, a child, after twenty four years of this semblance of living, of life.
I’m twenty four, a graduate of the university of spoiled children ( a moniker it gained because of Less Than Zero-read it), and I find myself searching for the next path to follow. In hoc, for more than I’ve ever earned in a year or even in two and my dreams seem distant. There’s this fantasy that plays out in my mind and indeed, I’ve mentioned it to friends of mine, of running off somewhere and starting over. The Fight Club revolution leading us to ground zero, or square one, whatever is your liking. Korea would fill that little fantasy of mine, but for how long.
All I want is to create new worlds…and so I stand at the precipice and contemplate the crossing of the abyss of change…
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