Genesis

-I’m deserted in time and space. I feel a disconnection from the reality that created each of my perceptions and each of my insecurities. At the moment, I’m lying with my eyes closed but my thoughts find themselves here.
I can’t sleep. When the sun’s left the sky vacant and the shadows disappear, I can’t sleep. I close my eyes and pretend but the thoughts parade across my mind, the images flashing through with different colored light, like some avant-garde experimental film strip, shot by a man who as a child always mixed his peas and carrots. And I ly awake all night contemplating the trajectory of my existence and where it leads to, or where it should lead. I watch the morning shadows come to greet me as the silouhette of trees falls against the softly lit wall. I can’t pretend, that’s the thing, I can’t.
I get up feeling as if I’ve slept too long, with a slight headache and a hangover irritation, so that even the monotonous buzz of the parking garage gate opening is enough so that I ignore the morning’s first politeness. As I make my way to my car, the neighbor, the one with the bad habit of leaving notes on people’s windshields for parking in front of his house, says hi and I snub him.
I notice the birds are out this morning and fill the air with a staccatto chirping and I wince as I glance up and the sun assaults my eyes. Quickly I recant my glance and sink into the driver’s seat, there’s an odd familiarity. I feel the night’s fatigue weigh in on me as my body and the cushioning create a new form. I want nothing so badly as to close my eyes, but something makes me feel as if doing so I’ll never open them again. So I drive off, my hand fumbling with the lighter and the cigarette dangling from my lips.
As the smoke slips through the narrow opening, of the windows, I become lost in the landscape and become aware of the things I had missed, those I had never seen. The patriotic beckoning of the ice cream man to some distant homeland, with the blue and gold flag. The way the dust of time flies off the windshield darkening the horizon if only for a couple of blocks. The way noise disappears a you’re transported through the tunnels off the 110, through a different world.
There are days like these, when you wake up and it almost resembles the genesis of life, your own.