-Sometimes, when the sun has fallen
I’ll sit wondering what it is,
why when the light is shining brightly
right outside my window, my head
starts to hurt, this bruise sensation
like I’ve fallen, like I’m still asleep.
It goes like this all day, until
the lights are out, so I keep my lights
out. But the blinds are another story.
And sometimes I tape them shut,
but you could see it, this odd
kind of anti shadow that presses them.
I close my eyes and I could feel it,
the light behind the duck taped blinds,
I could feel it against my eyelids, and
the throbbing of my mind. I cover it,
my head with a blanket, but I suffocate,
I can’t breathe and I can’t escape.
I struggle for breath under the blanket,
I struggle for darkness against the window,
I struggle for peace in my throbbing head,
I choke without access to my peace,
I writhe against the day’s awareness,
I lose consciousness without knowing why.
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