-Pick the thorns from my hand as the blood drips,
It reminds me of the day you told me it was over.
You walked up to me holding in your hand
The letter I wrote you the day before, it was crumpled up
Into a ball that you held tightly,
My words were frozen by your cold stare and the gentle breeze
That blew across, that blew through me
I looked into your eyes and was afraid of what you had in mind
I was paralyzed like a child sitting in a dark room
On my bed looking out at the room around, all the monsters
Hiding in the corners, waiting to attack, as soon
As I close my eyes and fall asleep,
So I remain my eyes wide open and they begin to hurt
They want to close, but your stare commanded my attention
And I was frozen, I even tried not to tremble as the cold breeze picked up
And the wind bit into me, my discomfort growing.
And you, you just stood there quiet, menacingly
As if trying to draw from me an apology, and I thought, I wondered
For what, what had I done, my eyes begged your mercy
They asked the question, they questioned you, your stoic stare
Your menacingly cold language, it began to frighten me
I became afraid that it was more than words you’d speak.
Still, I could do nothing but remain quiet, repressing my cold trembling
Waiting for you to say something, to speak
And tell me what I had done, how I had upset you.
As I took a deep breath to warm myself and to ease my trembling,
You raised your hand, the one with my crumpled letter
And I blinked as your hand quickly opened and
The crumpled paper fell to the wind.
It hit my shoe and I looked down as it was carried away by the wind.
The tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of the words
I had written you, the night before.
How many times I had given you my heart in that one letter,
At that moment, I could not remember.
And I looked to you, your mad expression, I shied away slightly
As you leaned into me with a jolt, and your words came piercingly,
“Joel, I don’t love you, I don’t know if I ever have,”
I was speechless, my words frozen beyond thought,
I couldn’t even think at that moment, I couldn’t even feel,
The cold wind that had been tormenting me, biting into my skin
At that very moment ceased completely and I felt warm
No, I was burning.
My muscles tensed and my eyes closed,
And then, that’s when you let me know,
“Joel, it’s over!”
I didn’t even open my eyes,
Just let my head hang, so you wouldn’t see the tears
Having formed, sliding down my face.
“I have to go”
I didn’t even raise my eyes to see you leave me, I just nodded
And I stayed there, it began to sprinkle,
And I stayed there, it began to rain, and I remain,
My eyes closed and my face fallen.
I was soaked that night as I made my way home,
I walked all five blocks, without raising my eyes,
I watched the water splatter under my feet the whole way home
And when I opened the door and took off my shoes,
I found I had developed blisters,
I don’t know if they were from walking home in the rain
Or from having stood there, so long.
I sat down and didn’t move,
The sun rose the next day and I didn’t move,
A week went by and I didn’t move.
Finally when I did, my blisters were gone
But not the thought of you,
And the months went by and then a year,
I planted a garden, all roses in bloom,
And every day I go out and pick a rose
I put it in water and then sit down and close my eyes
As the blood trickles down, as I pick out thorns
And think of you.
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